He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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