Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
