and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I need a burrito and a hug.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
