just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
