why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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