he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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