and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
