i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
