This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
