Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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