dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
