I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
