I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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