Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
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He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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