And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Enjoy the penises
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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