three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
