bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
