just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
