hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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