so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
