His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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