He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
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He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
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Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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