wanna go halves on a baby?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize