Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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