just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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