My first STD was from a foam party
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
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I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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