I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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