dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
