Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
