so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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