Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
