dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
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We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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