I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
