the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
