Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We need to get me chipped asap
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
