I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
