i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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