Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
