I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
