You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
