remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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