Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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