i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
