Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
