i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The uberlube is also flammable
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
