Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
