The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
How does one acquire holy water?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
