Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
we should paint friendship bongs
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