note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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