Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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