Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
