Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
