i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
