I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
