what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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