I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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