I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
