My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
