You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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