like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
