last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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